Separation, Divorce, & Minimising the Effects of Conflict on Children

When parents make the difficult decision to separate, it’s often on the condition that they will ‘put the kids first’. No parent wants their child to be negatively affected by their choice to separate from their partner, but divorce can be messy, complicated and potentially harmful for youngsters.
Divorce often has a harmful impact on children – especially the younger ones, who can become insecure and dependent when their parents separate. But research has shown that it’s not the separation in itself that causes long-term distress to children; it’s the continuing conflict between parents as they work through the trials of divorce.

If you’-or someone you know/love-are considering separation/divorce, and are keen both to reduce the conflict, and keep your children’s home life secure and happy, you may like the following some helpful advice we’ve put together, that you can use (or share) during this tough time.

Talk it through. As soon as the decision has been made to separate, it’s important to sit down and talk with your children – together. A show of unity can reassure the children that you’re both still their parents, even if you have decided you would be happier apart. Children often have many questions about where they will live and when they’ll spend time with both parents – figure these out as quickly as possible, to ensure the family is not in a state of difficult transition for too long.

Take care of yourself. It may sound basic, but stressful divorces can have an impact on sleeping and eating patterns. You’ll be able to better care for your children at this tough time, if you’re caring for yourself. Also try to ensure that you have adults around to discuss the matter with – friends, family or counsellors if necessary. Don’t burden your kids with too much detail about their parents’ separation.

Find a trusted solicitor. Contact a solicitor who will act in the best long-term interests of you and your kids. They should attempt to minimise conflict wherever possible, and help you to understand your position from a legal point of view.
There are also three routes that you can take in order to minimise the conflict and ensure that your divorce/separation does get fought over in court – something which could have a really detrimental effect on the kids.

If you would like advice on Separation, Divorce, & Minimising the Effects of Conflict on Children then contact us today.